


The One Where Ted Should Just Move Out Already

by okemmelie



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 22:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20454740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okemmelie/pseuds/okemmelie
Summary: Ted's roommate, Paul, has a girlfriend. Paul's roommate, Ted, does not like her. Or maybe he does, but he'll be damned if she ever finds out.





	The One Where Ted Should Just Move Out Already

**Author's Note:**

> shout out to charlie-bean on tumblr dot com who made a prompt list and to me for not being able to pick just one, so "Why are you on my couch, you don't live here", "You sat in a chair and complained, you don't get to take any credit" and "It may be 3 o'clock in the afternoon, but it is too early for your bullshit" here we go !

“Why are you on my couch? You don’t live here.”

It was Emma who was there. On his couch. With her feet dangling over the armrest, her shoes still on. And Ted is not having it. He crosses his arms and leans against the wall, looking at her expectantly and even gave a little head nod to signal for her to get the fuck off of it.

She doesn’t even look at him for more than two seconds, before returning her gaze to the TV screen where she’s playing a game: Luckily on Paul’s Xbox and not Ted’s PS4.

“Paul’s not even home. How the fuck did you get in here?” He doesn’t know why he even bothers asking, but at least he doesn’t have time to regret it before Emma has caught something out of her pocket. It’s a set of keys, he realizes, as they are thrown directly at his face. Luckily, he manages to catch them before they hit him. He flips her off and she returns the gesture. “You’re such a fucking asshole, you know that?”

Emma sighs loudly. “And you’re totally interrupting my flow, dude. Don’t you have anything better to do?”

There’s a lot of things he’d rather do than maintain a conversation with his roommate’s girlfriend, he concludes as he leaves to go to his own room, dropping the keys on the floor for Emma to pick them up herself. She calls him an asshole and he slams the door a bit too loudly for what is necessary.

*******

It’s board game night at the apartment and he has no fucking clue why it has to be at their place. Ted doesn’t wanna play board games. Paul doesn’t wanna play board games. Hell, not even Emma wants to play board games. But Charlotte’s apartment is too small for all of them to be there and none of them could resist when she asked.

Tonight, Charlotte has brought Trivial Pursuit and Ted has somehow ended partnered up with Emma for the night, which means he’s been sitting on the couch complaining while Emma has played for them.

He really doesn’t care for board games and he figures it’s fine. He’s gonna drive Charlotte home later tonight and if she is disappointed by his lack of engagement in game night, he figures, they’ll just fuck and makeup.

“Hey, asshole!”

The teammates’ eyes meets, but Ted takes a moment to reply. “You talking to me?”

Emma rolls her eyes at him. It’s what’s to be expected at this point. She tells him to forget about it and goes back to the game. He returns is attention to his phone and he has no intention of getting involved again before it’s all over, but he does manage to complain about Emma a few more times before it is.

When Ted finally joins them at the table, it’s because Emma has already gotten 5 cheeses, while Paul and Charlotte only has two. He is the one who answers the final question that results in their victory, but then he makes the fatal mistake of holding his hand up for a high-five.

“Oh, no. No no, no no no.” Emma is not having it. She is also not returning his high-five. “You sat on the couch and complained, you don’t get to take any credit.”

Ted, ever the proud man, doesn’t lower his hand. It takes Charlotte awkwardly high-fiving him from across the table at a wrong angle for him to do so. He gives her a tired, but thankful smile in return and squeezes her hand.

“Actually, sweetheart, I participated as much as both of them… or just straight up more than one of them did.” He had no idea where the other team had gotten their two points from and he didn’t care enough to find out.

It’s not uncommon for Ted and Emma to get into dumb feuds over nothing, and Paul isn’t having it tonight. He awkwardly gives Charlotte’s shoulder a squeeze before getting up and leaving the table to go to his room.

***

They all went drinking last night, but Ted nowhere near as weak as Charlotte, Paul or Emma when it comes to the day after, so it doesn’t surprise him that he’s the first one awake. He kisses Charlotte’s cheek before quietly crawling out of bed and leaving his room to go sit on the couch.

He’s in the middle of checking up on Melissa when he hears a door open and Emma soon after enters the living room. “Good morning. Why aren’t you wearing a shirt? More importantly, why aren’t you wearing pants? Please just be nice to me this once and go put on some pants.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you lived here.” Emma’s already rolling her eyes like she knows what’s coming next. “Oh wait. You don’t. I do. Grow up.”

Instead of pushing it, Emma throws him a blanket and Ted decides not to be a complete dick to her today, so he does cover himself a little bit. Shortly thereafter, she joins him on the couch with a bag of chips. Ted gives her a judgmental look for eating on the couch, but not even five minutes later he reaches for some.

When coexisting becomes boring, they decide to turn on his PS4 and play some video games together until their respective partners wake up. Emma’s close to winning when Paul finally walks into the living room and Ted does the only reasonable thing he can think of: He pushes her off the couch. She can’t win if she can’t see, probably.

Paul looks at back and forth between them a few times before sighing loudly. “It may be three o’clock in the afternoon, but it’s still too early for your bullshit.” He gives Emma a quick kiss on top of her head before he heads back towards his room, leaving her sitting on the floor. “I’m going back to bed. Don’t break anything.”

Needless to say, Paul is happy when Ted and Charlotte three days later announce that they’re going to be finding an apartment together.

  
  



End file.
